The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept porn awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned memek the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for bokeh caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, memek she bokep rolled her eyes and porn declared the woman an ‘actrice’, porn or memek sex worker.

Now, porn according to bokeh this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, bokeh it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and bokeh all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokep the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, crot you can’t measure passion in terms bokep of decibels: crot there’s crot sex as performance art, porn and porn sex as genuine intimacy. And bokeh when a woman is genuinely aroused, porn trusts her partner and bokep is not fearing for bokep a fragile male ego, bokep porn she’s far more likely to gently sigh and bokep moan bokeh crot than shriek like bokep the rabid super-vixen bokep in my Parisian hotel.

bokep In my days editing bokep The Erotic Review magazine, porn female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, bokeh they’d explain, crot so they could make memek their partner crot feel happy, memek while conserving their energy for crot other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two crot researchers from the bokep University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and bokep ‘manipulation’, bokeh and bokeh that women were prone to what they memek described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, bokeh so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, crot the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It bokep was like saying: crot ‘I’m enjoying this, crot but bokeh can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, memek ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a bokep demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, memek where porn loud memek always equals bokeh better.

As crot a woman from Sunderland memek said bokeh in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned crot bokeh out their TVs: bokep ‘As far as I’m concerned, crot that’s what you should be doing.’

bokeh Well, memek only if you want bokep to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, memek Sex At Dawn, bokeh Christopher Ryan and crot Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they bokeh were fertile and porn keen porn to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, bokeh crot I can understand porn the need to advertise. But if bokep you’re not, crot then men should take heed: crot the best sex may just be the quietest.


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