The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room memek screeching so loudly that memek I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for crot caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, memek she rolled her eyes and bokeh declared the woman an ‘actrice’, bokep or porn sex worker.

Now, memek according to this memek new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, bokep it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and porn all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, memek the crot greater bokeh the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, porn you can’t crot measure passion bokeh in terms of decibels: porn there’s sex as performance memek art, bokep and bokep sex as genuine intimacy. And memek when a woman is genuinely aroused, crot trusts her partner and memek is not fearing for bokep a fragile male ego, bokeh she’s far more likely to gently sigh and porn moan than shriek like the rabid bokeh super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, bokeh female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, bokeh they’d explain, bokeh so they could make crot their porn partner feel happy, bokep while conserving their energy for bokeh other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and memek ‘manipulation’, crot and bokep that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, memek so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, porn the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: memek ‘I’m enjoying this, memek but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, bokeh ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your memek sex education comes from porn, porn where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland crot said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned bokeh memek out their TVs: bokep ‘As far as I’m concerned, memek bokeh that’s what you should crot be doing.’

Well, bokep only if you want to attract bokep a certain kind of attention.

In their book, bokeh Sex At Dawn, crot Christopher Ryan and porn Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy bokep during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were crot fertile and bokep keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, bokep I bokep can understand crot the need to advertise. bokep But if you’re not, bokeh then men should bokep take heed: memek the bokeh best sex may just be the memek quietest.

Paris

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